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Hmm, maybe I shouldn’t talk about my career.’ ” So what’s the solution?It’s all about keeping your pre-date “textversations” to a minimum.From working on my communication skills to understanding what I’m actually looking for in a partner, there’s a lot to learn from casual dating. It is simply impossible to put a full stop on the feels if you’re seeing just one person. You may find yourself drawn to blondes or tall guys or guys in leather jackets, but if you take stock of the guys you’ve dated you’ll probably find that they have more in common than their hair color or outerwear preferences. I’m drawn to guys with a goofy sense of humor, favor being outdoors over hitting the gym and aren’t very emotionally available at the moment. (These are exceedingly common threads among the romantically challenged.)I can’t tell you exactly how to break the mold (hello, still single over here) except to say keep trying.This is Relationship 101, but I think it bears repeating in the context of casual, non-serious, non-exclusive relationships. Whatever your truth is, don’t be shy about sharing it. I’m not a psychologist, but I’m self-aware enough to realize that there’s a reason I keep finding myself entangled in romantic situations that are, for lack of a more delicate term, “doomed from the start.” I want what I can’t have. Say yes to more second dates, keep a more open mind when swiping right and trying to meet more (and more diverse) people.He was such a dud.” Another reason pre-date texting can backfire is that you’re loaded with too much back story.

“Just say, ‘I think it’s cool that you want to know me, but I’m not into conversational texting before we meet.

On the other, I’m definitely not giving every potential partner a fair shot, and I’m giving guys who aren’t really right for me way too much of my heart too soon. But we’re also human, you and I, and when all our romantic energy is directed at just one person (even when it’s “so low-key”) we will not be able to keep things casual forever. Things like physical and emotional boundaries can help keep a relationship casual, but keeping more than one person in the mix will also keep feelings in check and remind you that you’re “out there” as much for yourself as for the people you might meet.

The more I apply myself to truly “casual” dating, however, the better I’m getting. Tall, dark and handsome is not exactly what I mean.

”I’ve come to decide that this is both good and bad.

On the one hand, I am a strong, confident woman, and I know what I want!

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