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The reality is, I would rather give and be who I want to be, and face hurt than not try at all.
People need to learn that dating soccer moms people are not obligated to fulfill their fantasies.
Obviously, that had a negative effect on how she showed up when they talked. Left to her own devices, even she would admit that she would have definitely blown up the whole thing far too soon, before it developed a solid-enough foundation.
Instead of watching the potential relationship unnecessarily go up in flames, I challenged her to step back and re-evaluate.
An insatiable need for predictability will make you miserable and eventually ruin every relationship, every time.
As soon as I helped my client to let go of her addiction to false certainty, the relationship began growing and deepening again.
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In order to better illustrate my point, I have a client who has given me permission to share her story.
As humans, we all desire predictability in our lives.
We need to know that we can survive and that we're safe.
They talked about more visits, their long-term goals, how their pets would get along and a number of long-term possibilities. But there was one issue that threatened everything they had going for them: she was able to see when he last accessed the site that brought them together.
As you might expect, that little nugget of information didn't bring out the best in her, to say the least.